Scholars Reflection Essay
The Media, Self, and Society program has certainly helped me reconcile my place as a media consumer in an increasingly media-saturated world. Before my first 3 semesters at the University of Maryland, I feel that my media use was, to an extent, unguided. Now, my media usage is more guided, more intelligent, and more responsible. I feel that I have the tools to critically consume, and to consume in an educated way. This kind of critical consumption of media allows me to find more personal and responsible ways to connect with the impersonal, irresponsible media of our world.
In this way, I feel that Media, Self, and Society has taught me an odd sobriety towards media. I feel that, before this program, I interpreted media as an entertaining product of our society, the consequences of which were irrelevant to me. Now, it is something more complicated; something deeply linked to the culture and norms of our capitalist society. In all honesty, though, this new lens is undoubtedly better. My past of watching the haphazard cable news of my parents is far behind me.
Being a critical consumer, to me, means being educated in the consumption decisions that I make, and being educated about the implications of media text. While previously I saw media as uncomplicated and inscrutable, I now see the incredible amount of care and detail that goes into reporting, while also seeing the incredible amount of restriction that can be enacted by media gatekeepers.
From my trip to DC with Scholars, taken from the Lincoln monument
Another way in which this program has helped me form a habit of critical consumption is through exposure. Honestly, I was very uninvolved in mainstream media prior to my involvement in this program, especially movies. Even now, it’s a very rare occasion that I watch a mainstream American movie. However, I think that this class gave me a window into a cultural world I had previously felt no need or want to expose myself to. Discussions about Marvel movies (and the like) felt so foreign to me, but I found a way to express and expose myself.
In all honesty, I don’t believe that Scholars brought me into contact with people or concepts that challenged my previous beliefs or opinions, but instead further reassured the fledgling beliefs that I bore coming to the University. I did, however, feel that I needed to find means to justify these beliefs, and to more thoroughly develop them. Being put into an environment full of people who knew much more about media, who consumed so much more news than me, made me feel that I was out of place. I felt that I was, in all honesty, in the wrong place.
During discussions during our first semester, when we were prompted to create a journal on our media usage, I felt like one alien in a room of at least a hundred humans. So many people seemed to discuss how much they watched the news, while I honestly did whatever it took to avoid it. But this prompted reflection: why do I avoid it? Should I keep avoiding it?
Since then, I feel that I have developed a somewhat healthier relationship with the news. Avoiding it because of its possible mental health consequences was creating a picture of an idyllic, denial-laden world within my mind, while overconsumption of it would almost certainly result in the opposite. This, in fact, was covered in my third semester-- people who watch too much news tend to believe the world is a far more violent place, as I learned.
In this way, I think that Media, Self, and Society showed me the mountain, handed me the climbing gear, and prompted me to climb it myself-- from this apex, then, I see disillusionment. I feel that cable news, that Facebook articles, that mainstream media in general, is an unreliable entertainment machine intended to maximize consumption. I feel that this is the case with most media. The profit imperative drives a constant production of inane, heartless media that seeks to capture our attention and our capital. This is, of course, my own belief-- but it is one, nonetheless, I formed with the assistance of this program.
Using this system of thought and belief, I have been enabled to critically analyze some of the media that I consume during my free time. One such example of this would be my viewing of the movie Ghost in the Shell, and my discussion following my viewing with my sister. Ghost in the Shell is, at first glance, a harsh anime cyberpunk action movie about cybernetic police in a setting where computers are becoming increasingly human. The movie’s themes of transhumanism, its symbolic linkage to Japan’s law enforcement issues, and various other critical points all factored into my discussion of the film. As of the time that I write this essay, I am planning to produce a video essay on the film, thanks to the skills that I have learned in Media, Self, and Society.
Another example of my application of the skills that I learned through this course is having witnessed a family friend becoming engrossed in the terrifying world of internet alternative right-wing ideology. He clearly has come to misunderstand the role of media in his life; social media has a way of luring people into an echo chamber where their ideals, no matter how bizarre, are reassured constantly. My knowledge of echo chambers and of the role that social media can play in enabling them was all obtained through the Media, Self, and Society program.
As for the living-learning program aspect of Scholars, and the interaction with other scholars, I found that the program was not particularly effective at enabling this kind of bridging social capital except for the absolute most outgoing in the community. I did, however, have the chance to work on many in-class assignments with helpful and interested peers as we constructed small group projects. This, actually, was one of my most favorite features of the freshman colloquium classes for Scholars.
The living portion of the living-learning idea was frankly dreadful. In my second semester, I was given a non-Scholars roommate who showered less than once a week, was reviled by the entire floor for his loudness and inconsiderateness, and essentially made enjoying this aspect of Scholars impossible. I had some social connections with the people on my floor, but I found that it was hard to find ways to interact with them without feeling dreadfully out of place, since I didn’t get in on it within the first week.
I think that I could have, though, been more involved in making friends in the Scholars community as well as actively participating in events. Though I only had the chance to go on two field trips, they were both incredibly engaging and were very good experiences. I think that, if I could have gone on more trips, I would have, especially since so many trips were readily available to us. That being said, COVID-19 has made such things impossible, and did during my second semester as well. For that reason, only so much of my problem with this aspect of Scholars can really be evaluated fairly.
The main way that I see myself using what I have learned in Media, Self, and Society is in my personal life, having the tools to evaluate my media usage habits as well as the media that I choose to consume. I think that the lessons of Scholars have been numerous in terms of media consumption, and I think that I will continue to enjoy my critical standpoint towards it. Specifically, I am working on beginning a YouTube channel for critical media analyses through video essays, which I hope to feature in this portfolio. However, as it stands, my chronic pain has made it difficult to manage even just my schoolwork, let alone a project involving a large amount of time commitment.
Being on campus wasn't all bad-- at NextNow Fest, I met Snail Mail!
What school has become-- constantly spending my time here, at my desk